Overheard in Nasdaq’s marketing dept.

By: Ray Pellecchia

File Under: NYSE

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A Nasdaq mole -- or maybe it was a squirrel -- has provided your humble blogger with a series of tape recordings of conversations that took place in Nasdaq’s marketing department over a period of years. Following are several excerpts.

1998 -- “Come in, Sniveling. I tell you, Sniveling, I can’t take this Big Board stuff any more. Auction market, auction market, tight spreads, low volatility, low transaction costs, I’m tired of hearing about it. Here’s what we’re gonna do: NASD is buying the Amex! That’ll give us a dealer market AND an auction market! We'll call it the "Market of Markets"! We'll put money into the Amex -- our technology will be their "Intel Inside"! Think about it, Sniveling -- Nasdaq and the Amex together! What a success we’ll be!”

2000 -- “Sniveling, have you turned on your TV lately? Day and night, night and day, NYSE opening bell, NYSE closing bell, I can’t take it anymore! Here’s what we’re gonna do: put up a big electric billboard in Times Square, invite the TV people, and make like there’s an actual market in Times Square! I mean, how much could that cost? What? THIRTY SEVEN MILLION BUCKS? Wow. Well, that’s OK. Just wait ‘til the money starts rolling in from this Amex thing, that’ll cover it!”

2004 -- “I’m tired of the excuses, Sniveling! Rule 500 long gone, and still no companies defecting from the NYSE! So here’s what we’re gonna do: DUAL LISTINGS! The companies stay on the Big Board, but we list ‘em here too. What, Sniveling? We’ve been trading Big Board stocks all along? Details, Sniveling, don’t bother me with details!”

2004 -- “Dang it, Sniveling, we gotta get our arms around this. Our opening prices are all over the place. Here’s what we’re gonna do: centralize the opening, make it an auction! An opening cross! Transparent, even! What a concept! What, Sniveling? The Big Board has been doing that forever, and we’ve been calling it archaic and inefficient all the time? Details, Sniveling, again with the details!”

2006 -- "Second place, Sniveling, I’m tired of second place! The NYSE has the highest standards, the best companies, I’m sick of it! Yes, I remember, the dollar standard, that was a little bit of genius on your part, Sniveling. You put the standard in place, and then when a bunch of companies fell below it, you just WAIVED THE STANDARD! Oh, mercy, that was good. But now we need something even bigger. Here’s what we’re gonna do: Higher standards for companies that can meet ‘em, and then a lower tier, and then a lower one than that. You can’t meet this standard, don’t worry, we got a lower one! You got a company, we got a standard for you! Something for everyone, right? It’s win, win, win! Hey, maybe some of our Amex companies can use this! What, Sniveling? No Amex? No more Market of Markets? Then how about Nasdaq-Europe, or Nasdaq-Japan? Not them, too! The details, Sniveling, you’re killing me!”